//Our shitshow begins in Valhalla, the bar thats also a fight club in the depths of purgatory. The threesome of friends all sit at their usual spot, the table closet to the wall but farthest to the right, because when a pissed off demon starts shit with an unknown monster with a bad temper, they all agreed that it's best to pick a fight with the wall to get knocked out the fastest and sleep through it. They all had their beverage of choice, for the Reaper, six bottles of beer, for the Werewolf, vodka, and for the headless guy with a heart of gold, club soda, because every group needed that one sober friend to clean up the shit and vomit.//
Hank: So let me get this straight, you, Wendel "The Womanizer" Wolfhart, managed to not only get several dates with, but seal the deal with [[Dracula's eldest daughter]]?
Wendel: Damn Right.
Hank: Well I'll be dammned... you actually did it, you crazy son of bitch!
Grim: What happend?
Wendel:You heard right Grim! Ya boy got the baddest bitch in the buisness, the dashing dansel of the dead, the vile vixen of the vampires to be his lady friend, dude!
Grim: And you expect me to drink to something that will probably only last
three months at most, and a one-night stand at least because.....?
Wendel: Oh, fuck off! Don't hate on me because I came, saw, and conquered, pun fucking intended and I don't regret shit!
Grim: Trust me, you're gonna. Make another god awful pun like that again and your ass is going straight to the 9th circle.
Wendel: Pfft, no you wouldn't,
Grim: I'm the Grim fucking Reaper, I've got the balls and the scythe to do that shit. try me, bitch.
Hank: Come on Grim, you've gotta hand it to him. This is a milestone for someone like him. This could truly be the start of something, special for our friend here, and if it turns out to be the greatest union between a man and a woman, then I'm all here for it.
Wendel: That's righ- wait, whaddya mean "someone like me?"
Hank: Yeeeeeaaah, let's just say you don't have the best track record when it comes to relationships with women,
Grim: Translation: your game is non-existent, and when it comes actually keeping a girl you don't have shit.
Wendel: What are you guys on? I'm GREAT with women!
Grim: Uh-huh.
Hank: Sure you are buddy.
//Both take long sips of their beverage//
Grim: So, this lady friend of yours have a name?
Wendel: Drakelle
Grim: Look at that Hank, he actually made the effort to remember her name! This IS a milestone, might not be a one-night stand after all.
Hank: So what's she like?
Wendel: Oh man, she's got the biggest-
Grim: Her personality Wendel, no one asked how big her ass was and shit.
Wendel: I was gonna say heart, but if you want the details spared on how bangin' that body was it's your loss dude. Anyways, Drakelle is the sweetest girl you will ever meet, she's very chill, easy going, loves poetry and deep coversations and she's just so wonderful, it's amazing.
Hank: Awww, that's awesome dude! I'm happy for you, really.
Wendel: Haha, yeah thanks man, yeah everythings awesome right now, only problem is I feel like I'm gonna fuck up a really good thing. I really don't wanna lose what we have any [[advice]]? I wanna be a better person for her y'know? Hank: Wendel, if you really love her then you shouldn't worry about losing her, Cherish every day, every moment, you have with her. Give her both the best and worst version of yourself, and if you two are serious about each other she'll love you regardless and the two of you will grow as a result. live and love in the moment my friend, live and love in the moment.
Grim: Yeah no, fuck that shit. Do whatever the fuck you guys want inside whatever weird ass bounderies you guys have, just don't get too attacthed to her. The less attached you are, the less of a sting the whole heartbreak procees and breakup is going to be.
Hank: DUDE!!!
Wendel: Seriously?!
Grim: Yeah, Seriously. Think about it this way, Say you do give the best version of yourself or whatever headless cupid was saying, what're you gonna do when she sees a guy that's better than the best version of you? She'll stop giving a shit about your best version and go love the best version of that other guy. Love is a virus, everyone gets the side effects, nobody want's the cure. So love at a distance.
Wendel: Whatever, King-of-the-emo's, let's leave the good vibes to Hank and when we wallow in self pity and wanna drink the day away we'll call you.
Hank: Hang on Wendel,if I didn't know any better I'd say Grim here is speaking from experience.
Grim: ...
Wendel: Holy shit, are you?
Grim: ...of course not! Why would I stoop so low to depend on someone for love and affection? I'm the literal personification of death!!!
Wendel: HOLY SHIT! YOU ARE!!!! OHHHHHHHH SHIT!!! THE GRIM REAPER FELL IN LOOOOOOVE!! I KNEWN IT! Under the cold and edgy fascade there's a fuckboy trying to break free!
Grim: Shut. The fuck. Up.
Hank: Who was she??? What was she??? Do you guys still talk?? WE WANT A NAME DAMMN IT!!!
Grim: Can we go back to the subject of [[Dracula's eldest daughter]]? Besides it was a [[Long ass time ago]].
Wendel and Hank: SPILL!!!
Grim: ALRIGHT!! Jesus! But only because it'll stop Wendel from feeling himself to much, now both of you shut the fuck up and listen.
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